Testing the Spirits

from Great Synazaristes - Triodion, p. 1170

on the Fifth Prophetic Reading Holy Saturday Vespers

"And it came to pass when Jesus (of Navee) was in Jericho, that he looked up with his eyes and saw a man standing before him, and there was a drawn sword in his hand; and Jesus drew near and said to him, 'Art thou for us or on the side of our enemies [Josh. 5-13]?'  And he said to him, 'I am now come, the chief captain of the host of the Lord.'   And Jesus fell on his faceupon the earth, and said to him, 'Lord, what commandest though thy servant [Josh. 5:14]?  And the captain of the Lord's host said to Jesus, 'Loose thy show off they feet, for the pace whereon though now standest is holy [Josh.5:15].'"

Saint Ambrose tells us that "the caution of the saints is necesssary: insomuch that also Joshua (Jesus of Navee), when he saw the captain of the heavenly host, inquired, 'Art though for us, or for our adversaries?' lest, perchance, he might be deceived by some stratagem of the adversary."87  Saint Anthony the Great also counsels:  Whenever there is any apparition, be not prostrate with fear.  But whatsoever it be, first boldly ask, 'Who are thou?  and from whence comest thou?'  And if it should be a vision of holy ones they will assure you, and change for fear into joy.  But if the vision should be from the devil, immediately it becomes feeble, beholding your firm purpose of mind.  For merely to ask, 'Who art thou?' and 'Whence comest thou?' is a proof of coolness.  By thus asking, the some of Navee learned who his helper was; nor did the enemy escape the questioning of Daniel."88

Joanna True Story:

In early spring 1993, three years before I was baptized, I was visited by three demons in a dream.  Nevermind why this happened to me, it is explainable, but it is another story.  It was a dream, but it was not an ordinary dream or even a nightmare, because clearly these entities were present in my dream as separate living entities, not as something from my imagination.  They infiltrated my dream and took over my dream.  The setting was in the very house where I actually was sleeping.  I'm not remembering or telling the whole visit, which probably was no more than 10 minutes.

In my "dream" three tall slender men in dark business suits/ties came into the livingroom though the front door which was a sliding glass door.  Two of the "men" were carrying my husband, who was either dead or unconscious, and they carried him straight into a back bedrom.  I did not see those two men or my husband for the rest of the dream-visit.

Now, in real life, earlier that night my husband had been taken to the E.R. and admitted with obvious heart attack symptoms.  My immediate objection/concern was that my husband needed to be in the hospital — not at home.   The third man stayed with me in the living room and prevented me from going into the back bedroom and from trying to call 911.  He said, "Don't worry about him — he is dead."  Still I was trying to get to the phone or use the phone.  I noticed that there was some rock-like music in the air.  It was delicious and awful at the same time.  While I was looking for the phone, I was also looking for how to umplug that music.  It was very powerful to the senses, luscious, the walls were pulsating to the beat, the pictures hanging on the walls were also "dancing" to the beat, similar to how it is in a cartoon, but not as exaggerated. 

I somehow knew that this music was from hell, and I remember thinking that this music was there waiting to be discovered by some rock musician in the future and I thought, "whoever discovers this music will be rich." 

I could not find how to turn off the music, which was torture for me.  (In real life I don't like music, anyway.)  I knew some things about Orthodoxy in those days, so I tried crossing myself over and over.  It was to no effect.

The third demon who stayed with me in the living room called me over to the sliding glass doors.  He said, "Come here and see this."  I looked out the window and there were rows of dancers in block formations, all of them dancing to the music, similar to an Irish jig, all in unison.  Each of the blocks appeared to be a different country.  The demon said, "All these are your delusions."  I pointed to one of the blocks of dancers nearest the door and asked, "even those Spanish dancers?"

The demon then threw his head back with a triumphant laugh and said, "ha ha ha -- they are not Spanish.  They are Greek!  ha ha ha!"  It seemed to me that if this was my delusion, then I would get to say what country they were....   So I said, "Well, then, how can it be MY delusion?"  The demon let out another triumphant laugh, "Because they are not really YOUR delucions, — they are mine."  I made no answer.  See what stupid jerks the demons are?

Then, while we still stood there, the demons started to explain to me that he was from outer-space.  (This was before I had discovered the book Orthodoxy and the Religion of the Future.)   He explained that not all outer-space men are good, but that some are evil, and we have to watch out for the evil ones.  I looked him in the face and asked, "which are you?"  And I watched his face change.  His features started to become distorted, ugly, or rather more it was that his true self was being revealed.  I could detect some distress in him, that he would have preferred not to show me his real face, but he could not help it.  It was like his fake face started to evaporate...  

Since he could no longer pretend to be a good spirit, he did not try to be nice anymore.  He attacked me like he was going to rape me.  He was on top of me, I was pinned to the floor.  This long long slimy pointed tongue came out of his mouth and the tip of it, very agile, was touching my face. 

 I banged my head against the floor and begged God, "Let me out of here!  I want my real life back, — with all it's problems."  Because none of life's problems were as bad as this.  

Banging my head on the floor I hoped to wake up, and pleading with God did no good.  I realized that God was allowing this to happen to me for a reason.  At that realization I desperately wanted to know WHY God was allowing this.  I lifted my head and neck up as much as I could, I grabbed the demon by it's shoulders, demanding of him, "God has me here for a reason.  What is it?  WHAT IS IT?"  

The first time I demanded, "What is it?" the demon appeared stunned, and somehow, at least for that moment, visibly shocked, afraid, confused.  Just the opposite of moments earlier when he was a powerful aggressor.  I don't remember why I yelled it louder again, but I think the instant change in his appearance probably started to make me afraid that he would not tell me.  Then poof!  He disappeared.  So did the whole "dream" disappear in that instant.  The visit was suddenly over.

I instantly woke up.  Lying in my bed in real life, I was as if paralyzed with fear.  I was suddenly wide awake with no having to ease my way out of any dreamland or take any time to fully awaken.  I was instantly at full attention in total reality -- but afraid to move because of fear.  The music was gone.  Little by little I noticed the normal house sounds, the clock on the wall, the refrigerator clicked on.  One by one I heard the 2 boys breathing as they slept in their shared bedroom next to my bedroom.   I believe I lay there for over a half hour, maybe an hour before I dared to move. •

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Also from The Great Synaxarion, April, p. 1001, the lifes of the Holy Apostles Jason and Sosipater, a magician tries to impress the apostles with a display.  

In this account I could not help but see the parallels to what was displayed to me in that dream.  Especially the words" dancing, and "marching to the  sound of the drums."  This was the very impression I got from the illusion/dellusion in my dream:  that all the nations were in unison and in step with the music from hell.  Each individual, each group (block) of individuals, and all the blocks as one world — all were animated by that music.  The unspoken mesage here was that the whole world (every country) is happily and volunarity dancing to Satan's tune.  Not just the people, but so deep was the power of the beat that even objects obeyed it -- even the walls (rocks) pulsated to the beat of the music which was irresistible.  Even though I was not dancing, I sensed a strong pull into that music, even though to me is was a torture, there was something so delicious about it.  Isn't that the state in which we find the world today?  And ourselves also spellbound.

I'm reminded also of St. John of Kronstadt's vision, where everyone is in a river that is flowing over a cliff.  Some people resist the current, but they still get carried towards the cliff.  The only hope is that the angels will snatch them up at the edge of the cliff.  And the angels are able to snatch up a few, but most go over the edge and down into wherever.

An unformed thought/feeling that keeps kind of nagging me, is that the block formations of the delusion/illusion in my dream were very reminiscent of the rows of British soldiers marching forward in war.  They were dancing to music, yet this was a war, none of the dancer/soldiers seemed drunken, but seemed mesmerized, fixated, intent yet detatched...  this is a war.   But this idea of war in the delusion/illusion did not make any sense as an analogy ... UNTIL I saw in the account of this magician's display the word marching.  And also those soldiers marching in rows, march to the drummers, like we see in a parade.

Even we who see it — do we see the horror we see that we are facing?  Seeing we do not see, hearing we do not hear....   I will allow them a strong delusion....  When we pray, "Lord have mercy" do we realize why we say this 12x, 30x, 40x, 50x and then again repeat, repeat, repeat?