from Joanna's Notepad
Early morning on the Apodosis of Ascension, I had a dream about ROCOR-MP Matushka Elizabeth Williams.
This is an event for me because I rarely have dreams. And rarely I would remember a dream. And even more rare is that the dream would make any kind of sense or be tell-able. We are cautioned about dreams. And the more we ignore them, the less they bother us. This dream was an ordinary dream in every other sense, except that it was quite detailed, and had a logical sequence.
One segment of the dream I will describe:.
Early morning on the Apodosis of Ascension, I had a dream about ROCOR-MP Matushka Elizabeth Williams.
This is an event for me because I rarely have dreams. And rarely I would remember a dream. And even more rare is that the dream would make any kind of sense or be tell-able. We are cautioned about dreams. And the more we ignore them, the less they bother us. This dream was an ordinary dream in every other sense, except that it was quite detailed, and had a logical sequence.
One segment of the dream I will describe:.
Elizabeth Williams visited me with a group of children, milling around her. Maybe about 5 or 7 kids, but they were in the background. There was a pile of wooden blocks (toys) with them that I only barely noticed. Then after Elizabeth's visit was over, I saw there were some blocks left behind. I gathered up those blocks to return to Elizabeth, because I was going to soon meet up with her at some other place unspecific.
At this some other place unspecific, Elizabeth was there and I gave her back the blocks that she and her children had left behind when they visited me. Elizabeth was glad to have the blocks returned, and she looked through them and asked about a certain block that was missing.
Later, when I went back home, I noticed the missing block that Elizabeth asked after. It was in the center of the room. Looking at this block:
It was huge. Too big for me to carry. It was made of oak. Heavily varnished. Very shiny. I knew it was supposed to be a fish, but it could remind somebody of an airplane with stubby wings... The dorsal fin was like a whale fin that goes up & down, and not like a fish tail fin that goes side to side... but this was definitely meant to be a fish. A distorted fish. It was modern. The wood was new blonde oak, beautifully heavily varnished and freshly polished to perfection, like a mirror.
I looked at the huge wooden fish and wondered how I would be able to return it to Elizabeth.
Then Elizabeth came to me at the spot where I was with the wood fish. We embraced and she cried, and I cried with her for a long time. Even in my dream, I wondered, how am I crying like this for so long? it is not like me. Not like me to cry or to embrace. But I could not stop my weeping with her. Many people appeared, gathered/approached, surrounding us, watching us. Not sharing the sadness — just watching, with sympathy and concern....
Then, I noticed about 20 yards away Matthew sitting in a row of chairs.. Not a permanent row of chairs such as a movie theater with chairs bolted to the floor, or a courtroom, but something less permanent like maybe a funeral parlor or school auditorium. There was only one long row of chairs. All of the chairs were empty except for Matthew seated in one of the chairs near the middle of the row. He was sitting there relaxed/patient but with a proper posture. He was resigned to being there like that. He accepted it completely.
So, knowing that Matthew could not move out of his chair, I went up to him. I told him I wanted to talk to him in private, I had something to tell him in private. Later, when there are no people around. I remembered that I wanted to talk to him, but I did not remember why at that time. I told him I wanted to give him some money. But immediately I wondered to myself, where am I going to get any money? Then, as I walked away, I remembered what it was I want to tell him when I have the chance to speak with him in private.
At this some other place unspecific, Elizabeth was there and I gave her back the blocks that she and her children had left behind when they visited me. Elizabeth was glad to have the blocks returned, and she looked through them and asked about a certain block that was missing.
Later, when I went back home, I noticed the missing block that Elizabeth asked after. It was in the center of the room. Looking at this block:
It was huge. Too big for me to carry. It was made of oak. Heavily varnished. Very shiny. I knew it was supposed to be a fish, but it could remind somebody of an airplane with stubby wings... The dorsal fin was like a whale fin that goes up & down, and not like a fish tail fin that goes side to side... but this was definitely meant to be a fish. A distorted fish. It was modern. The wood was new blonde oak, beautifully heavily varnished and freshly polished to perfection, like a mirror.
I looked at the huge wooden fish and wondered how I would be able to return it to Elizabeth.
Then Elizabeth came to me at the spot where I was with the wood fish. We embraced and she cried, and I cried with her for a long time. Even in my dream, I wondered, how am I crying like this for so long? it is not like me. Not like me to cry or to embrace. But I could not stop my weeping with her. Many people appeared, gathered/approached, surrounding us, watching us. Not sharing the sadness — just watching, with sympathy and concern....
Then, I noticed about 20 yards away Matthew sitting in a row of chairs.. Not a permanent row of chairs such as a movie theater with chairs bolted to the floor, or a courtroom, but something less permanent like maybe a funeral parlor or school auditorium. There was only one long row of chairs. All of the chairs were empty except for Matthew seated in one of the chairs near the middle of the row. He was sitting there relaxed/patient but with a proper posture. He was resigned to being there like that. He accepted it completely.
So, knowing that Matthew could not move out of his chair, I went up to him. I told him I wanted to talk to him in private, I had something to tell him in private. Later, when there are no people around. I remembered that I wanted to talk to him, but I did not remember why at that time. I told him I wanted to give him some money. But immediately I wondered to myself, where am I going to get any money? Then, as I walked away, I remembered what it was I want to tell him when I have the chance to speak with him in private.
And the dream ended. I woke up and wondered why I had that dream. It was just a regular dream. Nothing supernatural about it. And I wonder, how did I even remember it?
I went to Google Mat. Elizabeth and found this on the top hit:
https://www.givesendgo.com/help-my-family-keep-our-home
And here I was reminded why in real life I do want to talk to Matthew in private. Matthew is being called a narcissist, which is a form of psychopathy. A factor pointing to this armchair-psychiatrist diagnosis is that Matthew does not blame himself, instead he blames something/someone other than himself — he blames demons. The thing is, Matthew is right: it is demons. And I think I know where those demons came from. I want to talk to Matthew about it. I've seen "this kind" before...
We know there are different kinds of demons. Christ said so and it is on record in the New Testament, when the Apostles asked Him why they could not exorcize a certain demon... We know that when Lucifer fell from heaven that he took with him angels from all nine ranks. All with different capacities, functions, abilities. Matthew is right that it is demons — and not the every day demons that we invite into our lives with our sinful inclinations and sinful thoughts. A different "kind" with which we do not have much experience. It's not that Matthew is "possessed" — because he is not possessed. Rather, it is that Matthew is a victim of a different kind of demon.
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